Hold my hand ...

Hold my hand, oh little one

Hold it nice and tight,
Hold my hand, oh little one
Hold it with all your might.

Today you've entered the big, wide world
And they've given me the chance to tend you're every need,
Tomorrow we're going on this journey together
Both of us unsure of what lies ahead, indeed.

Hold my hand, oh little one

Hold it nice and tight,

Hold my hand, oh little one

Hold it with all your might.

You may be small and the youngest of us by far
But your instinct about what you want is overwhelmingly strong,
I need to keep calm and listen to all your cries
As to underestimate your sense of self would be quite wrong.

Hold my hand, oh little one
Hold it nice and tight,
Hold my hand, oh little one
Hold it with all your might.

There is so much to learn from one another
To think of all our future challenges brings up a sense of fear,
However, you know and feed off all my emotions

So I am keeping myself strong and positive, my dear.

Hold my hand, oh little one
Hold it nice and tight,
Hold my hand, oh little one
Hold it with all your might.

Well, my child, the years are simply slipping by
You've reached an age now where I'm needed oh so rarely,

Indeed, when my face at school is deemed so uncool

Then I know it is time to let you go, albeit warily.

Let go my hand, oh little one

It is time for your maiden flight,

Let go my hand, oh little one

The timing is oh so right.

Dedicated to my two beautifully-spirited girls who gave a sense of purpose to my life, and give me great joy, inspiration and contentment each and every day. I love you both so much! ❤❤❤

Faith in goodness and love

You might think on the day of your birthday you will celebrate with family and friends and it will be full of joy, laughter and love ... but sometimes it just isn't like that. That was my birthday this year.

The events of the day before, May 28th, seemed to overpower the celebration meant for the 29th.

One may argue that you should ignore all that has gone before and "be in the moment" ... and normally I would say I can do this, but yesterday I could not. My work ethic, personal integrity and ability to be a true friend were all called into question on Friday. How do you ignore that? Of course, it also happened to coincide with the anniversary of my Father's death. To say Friday was a tough day would be a huge understatement.

However, it would also be misleading to recall my birthday as totally miserable because there were pockets of beautiful moments with friends and my family that I will treasure. I was given the gift of my husband's presence and support throughout the events of Saturday morning, my two girls made a special effort with their birthday cards, and then I found myself in the company of some very special friends throughout the afternoon. Yet I felt sadness in my heart, and perhaps I couldn't receive those wonderful gifts in full.

Today I have been able to reflect upon the last few days and still find myself wondering what it has all been about. My faith in the goodness of people and beauty of love, however, have been somewhat restored as I found many lovely birthday wishes on my Facebook page, email, mobile phone and in my birthday cards. So perhaps Sunday the 30th has been the day when I have been able to celebrate my birth some 37 years ago, which luckily enough my Father was alive to enjoy.

Overall I feel grateful for my life, my family, my friends and my faith. These are beautiful gifts that cannot be taken away by dishonesty and bullying. I hang on to these with joy and love, and hope that laughter comes my way soon.

❤❤❤

Being different

Today has been a hard day. Today, I felt like I was back at high school; I had that feeling of not fitting in and of being different. Yes, it is silly. But you can't control how you feel. However, the benefit of being 20 years older is having the knowledge that you can control your reaction to these feelings!

I have two wonderful books on the go at the moment ... the first is called The Six Questions of Socrates and the second is Secrets About Life Every Woman Should Know. I am loving the ideas contained within these two books, especially the concept of my purpose in life being to grow into the best human I can be ... with virtues such as a sense of social justice, a sense of courage, piety toward humanity and love or empathy for others. It is with this knowledge that I can reflect upon today's events and remain confident in the person I am now and who I want to be in the future.

Our capacity to love

Who am I to be writing about love? I am neither a poet nor a writer who knows how to elegantly arrange words to convey such feelings. I am neither experienced nor knowledgeable on the subject. I possess only a heart and the capacity to use it ...

Today I reached out to sooth a child in distress and it surprised me to feel my heart in my mouth. It took only a few minutes to calm and reassure him, but the experience moved me ... it was love; I did it out of love.

Where has this come from? How has this happened? These are a few of the questions I am asking myself tonight as I reflect upon my day.

These days I am surrounded by children, day and night. It may just be spending time at home with my own two girls, or in a classroom with up to 26 of them, or even in a playground with over 50! To some people this may sound like chaos, insanity or a little bit of both, but I love it. And I am also on a journey of self-discovery through this experience; I am learning about my prejudices, my imperfections and my capacity to love.

When I first decided to become a teacher I knew I wanted to be with young children, so I signed up to complete a Graduate Diploma in Primary Education. However, after my first two weeks of practical experience I changed to Secondary Education. I was scared. Inside of a week I felt an attachment with those young students as I knew their names and some of their personal stories. What would happen if I taught them for a year? I was also scared for the future. I was afraid of my children believing that I could love anyone more than them.

It is eight years since I made that decision to become a teacher and I am yet to fulfil my dream. Instead, I am a parent to 6 year old twin girls, a part-time student enrolled in a Certificate III (Education Support) course as well as a part-time Education Assistant at a local Primary School. Although the road has proved bumpy and full of unexpected twists and turns, I feel this is where I am supposed to be. I don't have the responsibility of preparing lessons for each day as well as ensuring each student has the best opportunity to learn. Yet I still contribute to the learning environment in which these students inhabit. Additionally, I have time to assist my own children with their homework, listen to their daily episodes, read them bedtime stories and worry about them constantly.

My experience today, however, has taught me that my heart can expand and reach out to others without limiting the supply of love for my own family. Perhaps I needn't be scared or afraid of love. Perhaps I need to let go of my heart. Perhaps I need to trust in my capacity to love endlessly.

Your heart is a reservoir of love ... let it be free.