How do I comfort my 5 year child when she sobs "Mummy, I don't want to die! I just want to live forever!" ...
Of course, this is not the first time ... The last fortnight has been particularly tough for her as she has suddenly become aware of the fact that she will die one day. I guess she is now wondering what day that will be!
I have asked myself how we came to get here? But the answer is simple. Death. Death of loved ones. As a family we've experienced the harsh realities of death many times within the last 18 months. The girls' Great Grandmother. Their Grandpa. Their Uncle. The girls have also mourned the loss of their Great Grandmother's cat and the most recent and shocking loss of their beloved chook, Henny Penny.
Although it is tough to answer the girls' questions, it seems to assist the grieving and healing processes. We are able to share our feelings of loss, what each meant to us in life, and our memories when they arrive unexpectedly.
I do question our honesty with the girls' at times ... but then I know the pain suffered when children are excluded from the process. I trust that my children will heal.
So, what do I say to her? At first, I cuddle her and say nothing in the hope that she isn't looking for an answer. But then she says "Mummy, are you going to live forever?" I cannot let it go now. "No," I say, "Nobody lives forever." She screws up her face and looks at me. How can I take her pain away? "Nobody knows how long they are going to live ... so you know what? We try to enjoy every day as there is so much to live for -- like playing with your friends, learning at school, going on holidays, and seeing your Nana, Poppy, Grandma, Aunties, Uncles, Cousins. What do you think?" Her little face brightens at the thought of so many people and places. We hug and then she runs off to find her twin sister ... there are just so many more fairy games to play too!
