It is now two years since my Grandma passed away ... and although the anniversary of her death is still raw and painful, I have made a conscious decision to honour her life rather than mourn her passing.
This photo of the two of us is my favourite ... taken on her 75th birthday. It was an event attended by a considerable number of her descendants, and the beginning of regular, special birthday celebrations.
As a young girl I imagine her to be quite strong willed, proud, independent, stylish and yet sensitive to the world around her. I know she loved both her parents; but she believed her and her older brother, Freddy, were their Father's "favourites". It pained her to acknowledge that her younger siblings gained most of their Mother's attention.
My Grandmother earned a scholarship to attend an Art College in Greater London; yet she walked out one day never to return because she believed she wasn't getting the same attention as the full fee paying students! Knowing she couldn't go home without a plan, she walked into an aircraft factory and asked if they had any jobs. She rode the train home that afternoon to tell her Father she had quit College but had secured an apprenticeship as a Draftsman-Tracer, which would pay for her train fare and lunch.
Although very successful in her career, my Grandmother confessed to me weeks before she passed away that she did not consider her love and family life as being quite so successful.
Although I don't know much of the details behind her marriage, it seems to have been on-again/off-again. What she did tell me was that she could not come to grips with being number 2 in the marriage; she said that her husband, Harry, and his identical twin brother, Arthur, were almost inseparable. Conflict arose when my Grandmother believed her husband would go to the assistance of his brother without hesitation or consideration of his own family. At the time I joked with her that she shouldn't be telling me, a mother of identical twin daughters, this sort of information ... but it was obvious just how much it pained her to recall this part of her life.
This final photo, in my opinion, embodies my Grandmother's spirit ... She was a passionate woman who liked to do what she wanted to do. Her single mindedness sometimes meant she overlooked the needs of others, but like fellow high-achievers her determination and ability to focus made her an inspiration.
May you have found the love and peace you always wanted Gma.
Your loving grand daughter, Tara ❤
