Wordless Wednesday

Heavenly spirits

There must be something in the air at the moment.

Yesterday, I found this beautiful comment by a friend ...

•*¨*•.♥.•*¨*• I like to think that when ever I see a butterfly slowly flutter by, it is a dearly missed loved one coming down from heaven just to say hello •*¨*•.♥.•*¨*•

Then, I saw a wonderfully photographed monarch butterfly on the blog, serendipitous, which I follow.

And today, I was approached by a five year old in our school garden to talk about her dying Nana. We were surrounded by luscious vegetables and herbs at varying stages of growth, just a perfect setting for butterflies.

She wanted to know if there was such a place as heaven?

Why did she ask me? I am the least likely of people to ask about heaven ... My family attended church on Sunday mornings, yes, but only when we weren't playing hockey. I don't think we could be called committed Christians. I think we were late bloomers also, as I did not attend Sunday school and have never read the Bible.  All in all, my knowledge of the Christian faith, the spiritual world and death has come from personal experience and a deep love of history.

What did I say? Considering I am neither her parent nor guardian and she is five years old, I could say very little. But, I needed to say something because her eyes welled with tears when searching my face for an answer. I knew the look. All she needed to know was where her Nana, Alice, would be going ...

So I talked about our body and our spirit, two separate entities. I explained that when you die, your spirit leaves your body to go to heaven, which her Mum had said was somewhere up near the stars. I remembered explaining this to my children, after my grandmother died, and they were much younger than Miss A. It helped that they were engrossed by the movie Brother Bear, which is a tale about Native American Indians and their understanding of death and the spirit world. Nonetheless, this subject is tricky.

Miss A wanted to know what happened after your spirit reaches heaven. I remembered the beautiful story described in Before Sunrise, where a young boy believes he sees his recently passed Great-Grandmother in the rainbow created by the spray of his garden hose. So I talked about my own experiences of feeling my late Grandmother's spirit near me when I hand-sew costumes for my girls and suggested that she may find ways to remember her Nana in the same way. She said she had felt breezes the day before and perhaps this was her Nana's spirit ... but, as tenderly as I could, I reminded her that Nana Alice still had her spirit inside her body.

Tonight I wonder if I've said the right things. I wonder if I've said enough to comfort her. I wonder if I've crossed some boundaries that I shouldn't. Although I love this side of my job, talking to the kids, sometimes you are thrown a curve ball that you really aren't prepared for.

Bless you both, Miss A and Nana Alice, may your spiritual journeys be peaceful in this world and the next :)

September reflections

There are times when you are just so busy LIVING life that you forget what exactly you've been doing!

Just lately, I feel the days have been slipping by without me noticing them ... so I decided to write a sentence to summarise my day. It took a minute at most, but now makes for an interesting read.

Today I feel like I have exited that busy, spinning, dust storm and can now watch the dust settle back down to earth again.

Please enjoy my September reflections ...

8th September ...
Today is for sick children at home, baking banana muffins, sewing costumes for Friday's assembly, writing, dreaming and taking a break out in the sunshine :)

9th September ...
Today is for children back at school :D, good and bad news, contemplation rather than completion, looking at dirty floors with eyes shut, feeling so tired that sleep needs to come NOW!, finalising assembly costumes when the mood takes and as many cups of coffee as the body can handle.

10th September ...
Today is about early mornings, working, saying goodbyes, more sick children, an amazing husband, wonderful friends, chocolate and looking forward to rest :)

11th September ...
Today is for unexpected rain, late mornings, convalescence, solitude, girls' time, finding grace and joy, remembrance and the renewal of life. ❤❤❤

12th September ...
Today is for surprises, gratitude, sunshine, the garden, playing and hoping decisions made are right for all involved :)
P.S. Thanks Mum ... what an amazing gift you've given me. ❤❤❤

13th September ...
Today is for greetings, hard work, honesty, nurturing, smiles, love and the joy of a brand new day :D ❤❤❤

14th September ...
Today is for waking late, a new job, new faces, new procedures, endurance, compassion, nerves and one foot in front of the other.

15th September ...
Today is for Mothers and Daughters, fairness, sunshine, chores, out-of-routine, family and another night lacking in sleep.

16th September ...
Today is for grace, joy, birthday preparations, hugs, smiley kids, communications and hopefully some sleep tonight :) ❤❤❤

17th September ...
Today is for birthdays, presents, celebrations, farewells, tears, joy, friends, family and sharing the fruits of life. ❤❤❤

18th September ...
Today is for recuperation, catch-up sleeps, the familiar, unexpected guests and family time.

19th September ...
Today is for ORGANISING ... for the final week of school, for holidays, for future events, for upcoming birthdays, for study and for keeping in touch! Love to all ❤❤❤

20th September ...
Today is for strong cool winds, crazy school children, strong coffee, laughter and the unexpected! ❤❤❤

21st September ...
Today is for birthdays, more birthdays, being comfortable in one's own skin, glorious sunshine, connections, new and old friends, heavenly spirits and the innocent. :)

Returned gifts

You know that jubilant feeling that comes with the return of your senses after a cold has recently ravaged your body? The pure joy of breathing a lungful of air, smelling the warmth of sunshine, and tasting the sweetness of honey once again. It is the ecstasy of simply being alive that is so overwhelming your heart feels like it will burst!

Well, suddenly my senses were returned to me last Sunday! And I must say, what an amazing gift it is to receive! I feel like I have had a cold for the last three years. Of course, I haven't really. Rather, upon the death of my Grandmother parts of me simply vanished along with her.

I recognised something was different on the weekend when, out of the blue, there came a yearning to get into the garden; a strong desire to create something using my own hands and imagination. It has been near three years to the day since I've taken any interest in gardening, apart from the usual request to prune roses when at my Mum and Dad's place or the Escallonia hedge with my Mother-in-law. And, in fact, since the 5th of September 2007 I lay witness to the slow death of my beautiful cottage garden that had been so lovingly created for two years previous. Surprisingly it wasn't hard to watch, as the heat of the desert sun sucked the life out of the tender plants and the insidious grass destroyed the hardier ones. It wasn't hard because my garden reflected the state of my heart. Pillaged. Plundered. Dry. Desolate.

Although I cried over the loss of my Grandma, I have never once cried over the loss of my garden. My Mother-in-law tried to resurrect it last year, but the grass grew back more vigorously than before and even the roses couldn't compete. The only gardening I did involve myself in was to save the last remaining rose bushes and citrus trees. We still have them in pots here at the new house, which we moved into recently. So, after five years at our previous house all we left for the next occupants were four shade trees, some native shrubs and a good coverage of grass over the red dirt. I still can't cry over the loss of all those wonderful plants. But I can remember the joy of picking bunches of herbs from the garden, the amazing pleasure of using our own lemons to make our favourite lemon and poppy seed muffins, as well as the spectacular sight and smell of gorgeous Jude The Obscure rose blooms and those huge, white November lillies near the apple tree.

As yet, I can see no clear reason or reasons as to why my heart has suddenly opened up to want to create a garden. Perhaps it has been a gradual process. Or perhaps recent events, like my new ideal job working three days a week in the education of young children, have something to do with it. Whatever the reason, I met this situation with an open embrace and set out at once to pursue my creative urges. I approached my partner with my ideas, which obviously took him by surprise, and instead of going through our usual planning process we simply decided to make a new garden. For this, I am truly thankful.

We planted five, pink rosemary shrubs along the driveway with an edging of the common Mondo grass. The girls planted out some wildflower seeds, which should sprout within the next few weeks. I am deeply pleased with the result of our efforts on the weekend, and find immense pleasure in watering this small patch of dirt every evening. In fact, I can't keep the smile off my face! :)

To whom it may concern: thank you for the gifts ... I will treasure them always.

The Card

I received the most beautiful card from my husband last week.

He wrote his thoughts inside ...

You are an incredible woman, mother, wife and most of all, partner. I have never met someone who is able to give so fully of ones self to those things and people that you feel are important. You are so passionate about life and those who you hold dear.

I am truly proud of you. Proud for your ability to give so much of yourself, even at times to your own detriment. Proud of your total love and commitment to our children. And certainly proud of your amazing ability to juggle family, study, personal commitments and work.

Most of all, however, I am proud of being able to call you my wife and partner.

You are a very special person and someone who I love deeply.

I wanted to share these words because they made me cry and smile at the same time! Yes, I am complicated ... but I have one person in this world who can appreciate me for who I am. Luckily enough, that person is my husband.

Thank you darling.