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Livvy was scared. She had done this before, but then she was relying on someone to notice the next day. There wasn't anyone now. She was alone.

The metal was cold against her skin, she shivered involuntarily. Livvy looked down at the inside of her left wrist. She could see the blue veins stretching along her arms like highways in the desert, occasionally they crossed each other, but only one travelled furthest to the crease where a nurse had once inserted a needle to extract her blood. Where was the best place to cut? Livvy knew she wasn't very clever when it came to these sorts of things. Why hadn't she asked Melissa yesterday? Her best friend knew loads more about 'blood and guts' (as she called it) because Lissa was used to preparing and cooking the bush tucker when her family went bush.

"This is no good!" Livvy shouted at herself. The tears started to well up in her eyes and this made her even more upset. "Be confident and just do it!" she heard herself say.

How many times had she heard Miss Jones say that? The thought of Miss Jones brightened her spirits for a few seconds until she realised that tomorrow Miss Jones would be somewhere else, in some other school far away from Livvy. A tear rolled down her cheek, but instead of wiping it away Livvy swivelled the rough, wooden handle of the knife in the palm of her hand. The blade glistened in the afternoon sunlight that shone through her bedroom window. Livvy noticed a slight tremor of her fingers. Was this something Miss Jones would want her to do? Miss Jones' mantra kept ringing in her ears, but somehow it didn't seem right to be confident about cutting your wrist.

Livvy remembered back to when she had cut the back of her hands last year with the pointy end of a compass. Miss Jones had asked the first day about the 'scratches' on Livvy's left hand, but she seemed to believe her story about her cat. However, Miss Jones hadn't said anything much the next day when Livvy had scratched the letters 'E', 'R' and 'S' on the back of her right hand. That had been hard too because she had great difficulty getting her left hand to hold the compass steady enough. Once again, Livvy was reminded of her inability to plan ahead. Why hadn't she done it the other way round? It seemed so obvious now. Still, she was sure Miss Jones had noticed. Anyway, wasn't it then that Miss Jones started to talk about believing in yourself and how it was okay to make mistakes because you could learn from them? And now that she thought about it, Mr Brown, the school Principal, had also begun to notice her weekly colour changes to her hair. That was strange, right? Oh gosh, now her mind was wandering and her Mum really hated when she did that.

"OMG, what is the time? Shit, shit, shit, shit! Mum's going to kill me if I haven't cleaned my room!"

Livvy looked around the room frantically. What the hell had she been thinking? Her school uniform was still on the floor where she'd left it, her small collection of soft toys remained strewn all over her Justin Beiber rug because her pain-in-the-neck niece had refused to pick them up this morning, plus she had not attended to her overcrowded dressing table that her Mum had threatened to 'wipe clean'. Livvy sighed, if there was one thing to be scared of it was her mother on the rampage,

Suddenly the bedroom door burst open. Livvy jumped and dropped the knife she had been cradling. Somehow she managed to catch it mid-air (as she was hopeless at sports) and stuff it among her latest sketches of facial expressions on the dresser.

"What are you doing Livveeeeeee?" screeched the little girl standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

With relief Livvy turned around to face her niece and replied as steadily as her nervous demeanour would allow, "Nothing that would interest you! How many times have I told you Chels, you have to ask before barging into my room!"

"How can I ask you if you're inside and I'm outside?" Chelsea retorted with a grin plastered on her slightly freckled face. Her blue eyes were alight with mischief and she sauntered past the NO ENTRY sign stuck to Livvy's door without blinking.

"Hey, I didn't say you could come in! You need to leave Chels, I have to clean up before Nan comes home."

"Yeah, looks like a bomb has been in here! You gonna get in big trouble Livvy and maybe you'll get no dinner again tonight!"

Livvy couldn't stand to be reminded of her previous punishments, but Chelsea took great delight in doing so. Livvy still couldn't determine what punishment would suit what crime, even with her 12 years of experience. Reluctantly, Livvy changed her aggressive tone to something that Chelsea Rowlands would consider to be a victory over her young Aunt and leave without further fuss.

"Thanks Chels, and you've just reminded me that I still haven't got my clothes ready for Nan's washing collection this afternoon. I suppose you're more organised?"

"Oh yes Livvy, but I better check that Mum has done hers too!" yelled Chelsea as she scampered off down the hall to, no doubt, gather all the washing from the bedroom she shared with Livvy's sister.

Livvy jumped up from her chair and slammed the door shut. "Bloody hell, that was close!" she whispered to herself. "Come on Elizabeth, you can do it!"

She picked up her school uniform and hung it on the end of her bed, pushed her pyjamas under her pillow and straightened the red-striped quilt until it was smooth. Next she stuff her soft toys into the straw basket she had weaved at school for the 'egg-drop competition' and placed it in the far right corner of the dresser. Livvy pulled a plastic bag out of her school bag, tipped the book out and started to fill it up with the stuff piled on her dresser. She would go through everything later. The rubbish bin wouldn't be put out till morning, so she would have time to dispose of things before her Mum's weekend inspection. The knife though, Livvy would have to return that to the kitchen now.