Scarred for life

It comes in the black of night, when you least expect it.

It comes when you are alone with your thoughts, when nobody else is awake.

It is just a memory, yet it wields such power over your mind, body and soul.

It is happening all over again ...

I know the time, it is 4.30 in the morning. I can see the faces of the Gurka soldiers at my door. The horror of what is to come is not found in their expressions, they do not give anything away. But I must go with them. Yes, I must go again.

Where are you George? Why are you away? You are my protector in this foreign place. You are not here, not here.

I see the blood stained mattress outside the clinic door. I can hear groaning from inside. I have a job to do. Call Nairobi. Arrange a medical evacuation. Maintain composure. Focus. First communication complete. We have a four hour wait.

The gashes on his head are large and blood continues to flow despite the bandages. My two medical friends are working hard, but he has lost a lot of blood. The line won't go in. The line won't go in! The last resort is to try between his toes. He now loses control of his bowels. I need some air.

Where are you George? You should be here. Here to help me through this. I need your reassurance, your hand to hold ... but I am alone with the stars and my anxiety.

The plane is on its way. Second phase of communication. Wake and inform the Mine Manager. Clearance to land the plane. Details. Details. Influx of visitors. Security, we need security! Paperwork. More paperwork. Phone calls to manage. Chaos.

A moment to think. Did he know someone was coming for him? Why didn't he tell me? He should have told me. I could have helped. Did he know? Did he know? Is this my fault?

The wait is agonising. The communications are frantic. The medics are worried. He might not make it. Too much blood. Too much blood. Everyone is cleared from the area. Cars are arranged for transport. Security is in place. We are waiting.

There is low cloud. More details needed. Exact coordinates for the airport. They are circling us. Phone calls to keep everyone informed. Okay, let's go! Let's go! Get him to the airport ...

Silence. They have all gone. I am nervous. Waiting. Praying. Adrenalin rush is subsiding. Suddenly I am tired. I am hungry. I need a shower. But I wait for their return.

No debrief. We eat together in silence, each locked in our own thoughts. I need to go ... the blood stained mattress remains outside the door.

There is more to the story, but I am tired. The worst is over. I need to close my eyes and rest now. The worst is over.

Life will never be the same. The memories are too vivid. There are so many questions left unanswered. But it is a world away, a far cry from the life I have now. Can you see it though? Can you see it in my eyes my friend? It is there. The scar is there.

Sleep my darling. Sleep. Here, hold my hand. Everything is going to be okay.

Peace be with you Chief ... forever in my heart and mind. ❤❤❤