Just a boy

He came to me yesterday, in the late afternoon, to say goodbye.

I didn't know he and his family were planning to leave ... my reactions were mixed and I felt awkward. But he stayed, and we talked whilst I made a chicken pie.

Who was this boy, now 14? I had known him since he was 10, but he had been absent for the last 2 years ...

We talked about his return to the school he had left less than 6 months ago, the work arrangements of his Mother and step-Father, his relationship with them and his Father, and how he felt about moving again. Luckily he said he could laugh about it. "Not many people can say they get the chance to move from one side of Australia to the other so often!" "Well", I said, "I am glad you can feel that way."

Who was this boy? He certainly wasn't the boy that regularly came to my house after school all those years ago. That young boy was struggling with the consequences of going home to an empty house, to having a strict and often unfair step-Father, of living with a Mother who could not think of anybody but herself, and who was locked in a cycle of pain. He often needed a shoulder to cry on, an escape from his own world and he managed to find that here at our house. Although it was a very difficult experience for me because of his behaviour, I knew it was a good thing for him and I let him stay.

"I've decided on my career already, Tara." Today he is full of news. He tells me about his future plans ... job, hobbies and travel. I see a different boy. A boy who is resigned to the life he leads with all its responsibilities and loneliness. Yet he is standing up and making choices for himself as well as setting out his dreams. It is a far more positive life than I had foreseen for him. Suddenly I am proud of him. Proud he is choosing a different path than his circumstances would deem probable.

But remember that glimmer of hope you had for him? Yes, I had almost forgotten. He had come back to visit one holidays after he had been sent away to live with his Father. His excitement to see us again couldn't be contained, but I was wary. That afternoon we sat outside to talk. And he played with our dog. It was the first clue to his change in behaviour. Instead of teasing the dog, he caressed him. He thanked me for being part of his life and was interested in how I had been. What a change! Those 10 minutes gave me hope for his future.

Then came another turn in his life, which I felt sure was going to set him back. Now here he is ... still just a boy; but a boy full of optimism, intuition and resilience. Good luck my darling, please follow this path and become the man your dreaming of ...